I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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