and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
