Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
