shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
