I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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