Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
