Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
