I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize