why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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