She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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