im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
