You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
