I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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