My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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