your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think my vagina is haunted
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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