Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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