i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
