My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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