my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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