i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
