he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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