i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
