i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am midnight drunk by noon
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
