OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
not ubering you a puppy
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