woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Your penis caused this!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
