do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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