I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize