Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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