My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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