you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
