i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize