hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
