I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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