Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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