He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Randomize
