We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
