My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Randomize