Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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