Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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