I hate all girls vehemently.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
is wine microwaveable?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
