We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
pray to the hookup gods
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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