I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
