so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
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Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize