Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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