I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
