You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
