No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
