John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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