that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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