the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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