Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Can I color on your dick again?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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