making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
