I just saw a hot homeless man
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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