he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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