Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
