Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
