all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
