I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize