You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize