she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
