My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
