no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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