Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is wine microwaveable?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
