so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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