You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
