Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
