I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
