I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
